do you mean by “unresolved childhood loss” issues?
A: In my own counseling practice, I do a lot of what
I call "unresolved childhood loss issue" work. What
this means is, most of us have at least some degree of spiritual
woundedness from our pasts. Some of it may be remembered,
and some of it not. But we all experience various manifestations
of abuse and abandonment (see “abandonment”
Q&A). For some of us, it's obvious and easy to spot.
For others, the abuse or abandonment might be more subtle.
Either way, though, if left untreated, the hurt that lingers
can cause us to seek a variety of ways in which to "medicate"
the discomfort. For many of us, it's drugs and alcohol. For
others, it might be relationships, or sex, food, adrenaline-creating
activities like gambling or extreme sports, etc. We do all
of these things in order to numb the lingering pain caused
by the false "truths" that we had implanted in our
spirits long ago. I call this “kneeling at the false
altars,” and am currently working on a new book that
goes into greater detail about the concept of “addiction
If you’re seeing a counselor, I would ask him or her
about these things, and see if together you can explore some
of the ways in which your inner child might have been damaged,
intentionally or otherwise. Once we determine the ways in
which we were hurt, we can ask God to lead us into healing,
and find through His love that He can replace whatever parts
of ourselves we might have lost.
Whether or not you choose to seek healing in a group or one-on-one
environment, make sure that the setting is one in which you
feel safe to share your inner self. Ask God to grant you over
time strength and courage beyond your own as you venture into
these frightening places of your past. It's our secrets that
kill us. Christ knows our secrets already, of course, but
by sharing with others we can discover His love through them.
New Life Ministries
– 1.800.NEW.LIFE (for counseling
Prodigal Song: A Memoir tells my story, including my own
childhood loss issues, and how Christ has healed--and continues
to heal--the wounds.